2010

So, the aught-years draw to a close.  What have these years of the 2econd Millennium CE brought me?

• 2001 - Aside from the obvious, my husband's second youngest son got killed in a car wreck near Nairobi, Kenya.  Drunk driving was involved.  For 2.5 years he was insane.  Now his sanity has returned but he is not himself.  Losing a child is the most difficult thing;  I understand.
• 2002 - A hellish year.  My time and energy was mostly spent in getting Simon to eat in between beers and getting together enough cash to be able to wash clothes and buy food and pay rent.
• 2003 - Another year in hell, very similar to the year before until Christmas.  Simon suddenly, abruptly came to his senses.  He is still grieving, but at least he isn't completely crazy. The rest of the decade is dominated by my health problems, I'm afraid.  Early in the year, I fell down into the concrete parking lot carrying clothes to the laundry room.  My left forarm was shattered and was rebuilt;  I now have 2 (count'em, two) metal bars in my left arm, along with some noticeable scars;  I wish I had a good story to go with them!
• 2004 - The year of the gallstones.  Gallstones are painful.  Very, very painful.  I had my gallbladder removed, followed by a second procedure to remove a stone stuck in a duct.  The surgery was easy, relatively painless.  During the procedure to remove the stone, the doctor mmanaged to scrape my pancreas.  OUCH!!  I was on liquids only for a couple weeks, then I recovered fine.
• 2005 - On New Year's Day, we moved to where we are still living, a nice house complete with yard and garden in an equally nice residential neighbourhood.  The first half of the year was uneventful.  In August, I had a mild heart attack (caused by a blood clot, not my weight).  On 11 September, Simon had liver failure and was told never to drink alcohol again, advice which he took for a couple years.
• 2006 - One of the landmark years of my life.  In April, I had a major stroke and died two times.  Twice.  Quite reluctantly, I returned.  But that is minor compared to what else happened.  MY RETURN TO SIKHI.  I came back, re-took Amrit and was reunited with my five surviving brothers and my dear Maman ji, Mani's mother.   Much else happened, as well, but another important event happened.  I came online.  Most of the rest is in sometimes - 2, which I refer you to.
• 2007 - Most of my energy was spent on recovering from the stroke.  
  I need say little here.  It's all in the other blog.
• 2008 - Moving on, growing.  I became a member of the EAB (Editorial Advisor Board at GLZ (Gurmat Learning Zone).  Simon started drinking again.  Or maybe that was in 2007, I'm not sure.  Anyway, his drinking has transformed him from Simon into Shrek.  The only thing that happened all year that he approved of was the election of Barack Obama.
  
• 2009 - This year.  The year of the Recession.  I became a moderator at GLZ (Gurmat Learning Zone.)  Shrek's hours at work were cut and he discovered he could make almost as much money staying home and collecting unemployment, which gives him more time to lay around the house drinking. But all is not lost.  This also the year that a dear cyberfriend gave me this wonderful computer.  And then the Photoshop CS4 (Extended). I am learning to use that.  Evidence:  the picture at the top of this post.  Should anyone be interested in seeing my artistic attempts, you are in vited to visit My Gallery.
  

• 2010 - Anything, everything is possible.

JANUARY 2010

The Litterers

SPEAK PUNJABI, PLEASE

Speaking Punjabi will lengthen your life. Read on. Read on to the very end.

Guys
Its high time we stop believing whatever comes on the mail and be practical and logical - please print for your wives..................

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? ;
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you! 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program ?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.







CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.



So speak Punjabi. Or Esperanto. Or Kikuyu. Eschew the English language.

A NEW BLOG - SORT OF

A dear and valued reader told me that his computers both at work and at home - go ballistic when accessing somestimes -2.

After much shallow thought, I decided that sometimes - 2 had had a good long run and it was time to start a new blog. Being a woman a great imagination, I have named this one sometimes - 3. I hoper to make this one...what do I hope? I really have no idea, none at all. All In can guarantee is that I remain Mai or, if you prefer (as some of my Sikh purist - please don't call them fundamentalist - friends insist, Harinder. So, dear friends, read on and on and on...